Sunday, February 03, 2013

We're not dead


...we're just lazy. Anyway, yay for 2012 being over and the lockout being over and stuff. During the lockout, we made a post talking about why we weren't too upset about taking a vacation from hockey. Well now that we're sucked back in, might as well make a list of our favourite hockey moments.





The Golden Goal
Almost everything about the Vancouver Olympics was perfect. There were a lot of historical and touching moments in February 2010, but what stood out was that Canadians were able to tolerate each other. Like, I was so happy I could've hugged an Albertan after the Golden Goal. 

You probably know the story by now: Canada vs. USA, Canada gives up a 2-goal lead, everyone from coast to coast hears a small "IGGY," and once again, global order is restored. If you're a Canadian or a hockey fan, you're unlikely to forget where you were when Sidney Crosby beat Ryan Miller on February 28, 2010. Myself? I was in the middle of being taunted for wearing a Crosby jersey in a theatre full of drunk hockey fans. Thankfully, I walked out of there with my bones and pride intact after the game. And then was called a puckbunny by a depressed Kessel fan. Fun times.




Jordan EBERLE's existence
Canada is down 5-4 to Russia in a semifinal game. We haven't lost to Russia in six years and are the four-time reigning gold medalists, but that only makes the game even harder to watch. As the last minute of play drags on, we're all about to cry. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, Jordan EBERLE magically gets the puck out from under a sprawling Russian defenceman and wills it into the net. 5.4 seconds later, the buzzer sounds to take the game to overtime.

Jordan EBERLE is the greatest being in the world and if you don't like him you don't like freedom. Yes, TSN's obsession with him and the World Juniors is a little, well, obsessive, but the guy's earned it. Not only is he Canada's all time leading scorer at the WJCs (which is pretty cool considering he only played twice), but he's also responsible for one of the greatest goals I've ever seen. He ended up winning the game for us in the shootout, and Canada was able to keep its streak going. We ended up losing gold the year after, but nevermind that. This post is about happy stuff. 




The Pens Win the Cup
This one's pretty obvious - anytime your team wins the Cup it's pretty memorable. I'm a Pens fan and Emily liked them back then, so we were both pretty happy when Sid Crosby became the youngest captain ever to win the Stanley Cup. Getting revenge from the Wings after beating the Flyers, Caps, and Canes definitely made it all the more special.



Leafs 9 Thrashers 3
Two years later and we still don't really get why it happened. If you don't know what happened or just want a refresher, you should probably read this. The best stat from that game is still this:

He was really laughably bad
Don't say Colby Armstrong never did anything for you, Toronto. 

The Dion Phaneuf Trade
January 31, 2010 started off completely normal. And then I turned on CP24 and saw that the Leafs had made a huge trade: Matt Stajan, Niklas Hagman, Jamal Mayers, and Ian White for Keith Aulie, Fredrik Sjostrom, and Dion Phaneuf. After my initial shock of getting rid of Matt Stajan (he was one of my favourites, for whatever reason), my reaction was HOLY CRAP WE HAVE A COMPETENT DEFENCEMAN. For a while it looked like Keith Aulie (who later turned into Carter Ashton) was the biggest piece of that trade, but now for the most part Dion has bounced back. Calgary wanted to get rid of him not only because his play had been declining, but because of his massive contract and his alleged locker room cancerness. But hey, we're good with those kinds of people.

Anyhow, Dion turned into a pretty important piece for the Leafs, eventually replacing Future Captain Luke Schenn (TM) as, well, the Captain. The craziest thing is that this isn't even the best trade the Leafs made that day...
ME DION.

BLAKE AND TOSKALA GONE IN ONE TRADE
THIS TRADE DESERVES ALL THE CAPS LOCK IN THE WORLD.

I probably don't need to tell you that Vesa Toskala is probably one of the worst goalies that ever played a significant number of games in the NHL. Jason Blake's stats don't tell the complete story of how bad he was, but you'll have to trust me when I say it was pathetic that he played with Mats. These two were so bad that we didn't even imagine that any pea-brained GM would take either of them off our hands even if we paid them. Not only did that happen, but we actually got a serviceable goalie in JS Giguere in return. Giggy had his own problems here, but Anaheim could've given us a box of waffles and this still would've been one of the best trades of our lifetime.

Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaahahahaha


That time we were first overall
We've talked about this many times, but it's still something neither of us will ever forget. I'll just leave this here:



The Lebda trade
Brett Lebda had the worst combination of lack of talent and horrible luck that we will probably ever see. He was like Blake and Toskala (more like Toskala) in the sense that we'd never thought anyone would ever trade for him. Matthew Lombardi and (what we've seen of) Cody Franson didn't amount to a whole lot as Leafs, but we won that trade simply because we got rid of Brett Lebda. 

That time Lebda scored a goal
This was a great game. Phil Kessel had two goals and two assists, the Maple Leafs beat the Canadiens, and Brett Lebda scored a goal. Yes, you read that right: he also had an assist and was +2 on the night. I even remember where I was when it happened (packing in my bedroom-I moved six days later).

Brett Lebda was just really horribly awful in his time with the Maple Leafs, but I’m going to remember that night because I got to laugh at him for scoring a goal.

The Nucks not winning the Cup
We hate the Vancouver Canucks. Like, a lot. So when they actually beat the Hawks in the first round of the 2011 playoffs, we were worried. Top that off with all the "You should cheer for them because they're in Canada" BS, and the both of us did everything we could think of to eliminate the Nucks. It took a lot of superstition-tweaking involving Chelsea Dagger and a Bollywood song, undercover infiltration, and sitting in the same seat without getting up for hours, but eventually we came up with a master plan just in time for the SCF. We weren't exactly Bruins fans, but we were probably two of the happiest people the day Vancouver lost the Cup. Of course, the Bruins turned out to be almost as evil, but hey. Don't ever tell me superstitions don't work. 


Plus this happened

Luongo actually turning out kinda awesome
Hand-in-hand with the Canucks hatred came hatred for Roberto Luongo. When Lu becoming a Leaf turned into an actual possibility, we started re-thinking our hatred, which almost never happens. And then Lu's twitter account really gained stride. I'd compile a list of our favourite Luongo tweets, but reading his entire timeline is pretty much it. Luongo revealing his own awesomeness isn't all good though, since now we actually like a member of the Vancouver Canucks. brb washing mouth out with soap. 



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