Welcome to the New NHL: Part 3

(s/t to our friend Will for helping with this one)
After much hoopla, the NHL announced that it will be re-aligning the league's thirty teams into four conferences. Instead of the current two-conferences/katrillion-divisions structure, each conference will consist of seven or eight teams. They haven't been named yet, so we're just going to call them 1, 2, 3, and 4. We're really creative. We've seen the first and second conferences, now let's look at the teams in the third conference, shall we?

Teams: Toronto Maple Leafs, Montreal Canadiens, Ottawa Senators, Boston Bruins, Florida Panthers, Tampa Bay Lightning

Toronto: Continue their long-standing tradition of breaking their fans' hearts to the point where cheering for their team feels like a drag. Except James Reimer. Everyone loves James Reimer.

Montreal: Tomas Kaberle will mysteriously play like crap every time they play the Leafs (*sniff*). Thankfully, the  Panthers or Lightning don't have any good goalies for the Habs to run over (watch out, Boston).

Ottawa: Will continue to suck, as usual.

Florida: Will begin offering a ticket promotion this year, called the "Visit Your Old Snowbird" package. For just $50 you get round-trip air fare, four game tickets, and a signed jersey from the Leafs' player of your choice.

Tampa Bay: Marty St. Louis is short and french. The Habs are short and french. SPECULATION!!1