Welcome to the New NHL: Part 2

After much hoopla, the NHL announced that it will be re-aligning the league's thirty teams into four conferences. Instead of the current two-conferences/katrillion-divisions structure, each conference will consist of seven or eight teams. They haven't been named yet, so we're just going to call them 1, 2, 3, and 4. We're really creative. We've seen the first conference, now let's look at the teams in the second conference, shall we?

Teams: Winnipeg Jets, Chicago Blackhawks, St. Louis Blues, Nashville Predators, Columbus Blue Jackets, Dallas Stars, Minnesota Wild, Detroit Red Wings

Winnipeg: Everyone will be in awe of the NHL's "newest" team, but then will score 9 goals on them every game once they realise they're just the Thrashers, who are just the leftover Blackhawks.

Chicago: Are really the only team in this conference that anyone really cares about. Patrick Kane will continue to annoy other teams with that stupid mouthguard chewing thing.

St. Louis: Will match Chicago's, Minnesota's, and even Nashville's starpower with David Backes, Alex Pietrangelo, and um... Alex Steen?

Nashville: Will be a much easier team to play against once Suter and Weber leave due to cap space issues.

Columbus: Everyone will now pay infinitely more attention to Rick Nash, now that we're all forced to remember the Blue Jackets exist.

Dallas: As long as they continue to employ Raycroft, lol.

Minnesota: Will be a terror to play in the regular season, and then crash and burn every playoffs. They are the Sharks, remember?

Detroit: Will continue to beat everyone at everything, cause that's just what they do.