Where's Reimer?

The big news in Leafs Nation today is that James Reimer was not at practice (the fact that this, rather than  "Leafs Are First" is the big news today shows how much we love our pessimism) and is not likely to start on Saturday.

James Reimer is important to us. He's our most recent Saviour of the Franchise (soon to be overthrown by Ben Scrivens, but we'll give him another game to show us what he's made of. We're not overreacting that quickly). So when he got hit by Brian Gionta, we were mad. When he left the game because of Brian Gionta, we raged. Now that he's missing games because of Brian Gionta, we're ready to call the army on Brian Gionta (insert Toronto snowstorm army joke here).

Since we don't want to listen to the people saying that he has a concussion, we did a bit of brainstorming to come up with some reasons why James Reimer was not at practice.

1) He slept in. How many times have we all done that?
2) He felt bad for Cody Franson's job as the team's coffee-run boy, so he decided to take over.
3) He went to his second job, as an actor for Timmies commercials.

4) He's actually at practice, dressed as Ben Scrivens.
5) He really really really *really* had to use the bathroom.
6) He gave himself a timeout after catching himself thinking the word "crap".
7) He was transforming himself into Optimus to save humanity.
8) He was so busy smiling at people he forgot to practice.

side note: this is how we've been winning games. The opponents are dazzled by his smile and are just forced to give us two points

9) He found a cure for cancer.
10) HE'S DYING OF A CONCUSSION AND IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE!!1