Pass the Cheese, please

(Hey look, it's the birthday of my favourite Leaf!)
Name: Colby Joseph Armstrong
Nickname: Army, armdog, Cheese
Birthday: November 23, 1982 in Llyodminster, Canada

Colby Armstrong is among some pretty amazing company as a recent first-round draft pick by the Pittsburgh Penguins. After spending a few seasons with the Baby Pens, Army made his NHL debut alongside a certain Sidney Crosby, who would turn out to be a close friend and his roommate on the road. Besides his friendship with Sid, Army was a large part of the camaraderie that defined the early beginnings of those post-lockout Penguins.

In the most bittersweet move of my life as a hockey fan, the Pens traded Colby Armstrong, Angelo Esposito, and Erik Christensen to the Atlanta Thrashers season for Pascal Dupuis and Marian Hossa  in the 07/08 season. Hossa was obviously a large part of this deal, and the Pens had high hopes that he would be a great winger for Sid Crosby well into the future. That failed, and Army was stuck with the Thrashers. 

Nothing really happened in Atlanta except that Army married his long-time girlfriend, Melissa (and he scored a career-high 22 goals one year). They now have an adorable little son named Cruise. 

After a few seasons with the Thrashers, Army became a UFA and signed a three-year deal with the Toronto Maple Leafs for $3 million per. While most people think he's overpaid, I was ecstatic to have him on the Leafs. Army hasn't disappointed and been the character guy we've known him to be despite battling injuries. If interviews and twitter are any indication, he's probably the most popular guy in the dressing room and a huge part of the Leafs/Jays love-fest known as #teamunit. Army went from being my favourite ex-Penguin (screw you Max Talbot) to my favourite Leaf and one of Emily's favourites (which doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is). And so from both of us here at Ginger Snowflake, happy birthday to the awesome awesomeness known as Colby Armstrong.

So, let's help JP Arencibia and Teamunit out and get #HappyBdayArmy trending today for everyone (who had a sense of humour)'s favourite pest.

The NHL: Then and Now

Sidney Crosby returns to NHL action for the first time since January 5 of this year. Needless to say, we're both really happy (one overwhelmingly more than the other). It's been a while since Sid has played an NHL game and with all the concussion treatments, it's unlikely that he's heard what's going on in the league since he's been out. So we've compiled a helpful list for his use:

David Steckel
Then: Plays on a horrible team. Is evil.
Now: Plays on an awesome team. Is evil.

Brendan Shanahan
Then: Ex-NHLer. Hey, whatever happened to that guy?
Now: Ex-NHLer. Now rules the league.

Phil Kessel 
Then: Phil Kessel is awesome
Now: Phil Kessel is awesomest

Winnipeg
Then: Winni-what?
Now: oh... hey Atlanta!

Roberto Luongo
Then: omg, Luuuu!
Now: It is now acceptable to laugh while calling Roberto Luongo a "good goalie"

Toronto Maple Leafs
Then: awesome team but, uh, crappy.
Now: PLAYOFFS!!!1

Max Talbot
Then: the very definition of awesomeness.
Now: the very definition of jerk-iness.

Welcome back, Sid

Name: Sidney Patrick Crosby
Nickname: Sid, Sid the Kid, the Wizard of Croz, Darryl
Birthday: August 7, 1987 in Halifax, Canada

Sidney Crosby is my favourite person in the whole entire NHL. Not only is he talented, but it's his work ethic and his constant drive to do better and make everyone else do better that make me love him.

Hockey without Sid is really different. I still watched Pens games and cheered for Geno, Flower, and the rest of the guys, but it's just not the same. They were winning games, but there was no 87 streaking down the ice with the puck, and I missed that.

Sid coming back makes me a little worried and extremely happy. Worried because I will cringe every time he gets hit, just because that's what I do. Happy because he's, well, back. Some people think he's been dragging the recovery process on for too long, but now that he's back we know he's at his signature 187%, and that should help ease the previously mentioned worry.

Crosby's won the Stanley Cup and the Olympic gold medal. It's difficult to say which one's a bigger victory, as Sid himself has said, so it's suffice to say they're both pretty amazing. There are too many memorable Sid moments to count: the Golden Goal; hoisting the Cup; winning the '08 Winter Classic; and countless other goals, assists, and stopped shots. The youngest captain in NHL history, the youngest captain to ever win a Stanley Cup, the ambassador of hockey, and my favourite player. So from the two of us here at Ginger Snowflake, welcome back Sid.

#winning

We like winning. Keep doing it, Leafs.
Hey Phil, keep scoring goals.
And Luke, keep smashing people.
Gus/Scrivens, keep trying.
And Liles, keep doing whatever it is you do.
Colborne, keep being PPG in the NHL (small sample size ftw).
Steckel, keep winning faceoffs and not concussing people.

You guys keep doing that, we'll keep doing our pre-game rituals.

Winning is fun.

The Ginger Snowflake Hall of Fame: 2011 Inductees

The Hockey Hall of Fame recently held a ceremony to induct its newest members, all players who exemplified awesomeness. So we thought, why not start a Ginger Snowflake Hall of Fame? And voila, here are the 2011 inductees for the GSHOF (they're not all hockey players)!

Phil Kessel

Phil Kessel is my favourite hockey playing  human being in the world. He is awkward and adorable and infinitely better than Tyler Seguin. Oh, did I mention he's leading the league in goals and points? Yeah. I love Phil Kessel.

Sidney Crosby

He's already in the GSHOF but we decided to induct him again just because 2011 was such an awesome year. With the longest point streak since the lockout, Sid was on pace to end the season with a crazy 132 points. While he probably wouldn't be able to sustain his point production for the rest of the season, there's no way to tell because David Steckel is a loser (Emily: no he's not). 

Jeff Skinner

Last year's Calder winner is amazing to watch. He's also a pretty talented skater. He almost makes the Canes a team I can cheer for. But screw you, Eric Staal. I will always hate you. (Shelly: Eric Staal is awesome)
Ahem...the only player that it's acceptable to fangirl over at any time:

James Reimer

Reim is a wonderful person and the sole reason we didn't want to kill ourselves after last season. Even if he sucks forever and ever from now on, we will still love him for that.
But please, Reim, PLEASE GET BETTER.

Seamus Dever

Seamus is awesome. He plays Detective Ryan on ABC's crime drama Castle. The character is adorable, his bromance with Det. Esposito is adorable, and he's just awesome in general. The entire show is pretty epic actually, especially Nathan Fillion. But Seamus is our favourite.

#teamunit
#Teamunit is the Leafs and Blue Jays, mostly on twitter. Led by JP Arencibia, Brett Lawrie, Colby Armstrong, and Tyler Bozak, #teamunit is the combination of two of the things I love the most: Leafs and Blue Jays. Seeing these teams display some friendship and character has been pretty great, even if it sends us into fits of fangirling.

Jordan EBERLE

5.4 seconds. Team Canada. Gold. EBERLE's been awesome for a while, but this year we both started writing his name in caps lock. He is awesome and the reason why we don't hate Edmonton. That silver really sucked. 

This is what we do on MSN

Guest post from our friend Will, who was nice enough to copy/paste/edit our MSN convo for us. We are procrastinating on studying for exams. 

Emily says:

sometimes

I wanna do a bunch of really cryptic fb statuses

just for fun

I say:

bahahahahahahaha

GO FOR IT

we'll help you make some

Emily says:

like

Shelly says:

haha

Emily says:

"why is this happening"

then people can be like WHAT

and I go

"my laptop battery is dying"

or like

":("

WHATS WRONG EMILY

"I can't find my headphones"

"Sigh"

WHATS WRONG EMILY

"I'm out of chocolate chips"

NO

"Sigh"

WHATS WRONG EMILY

"Inbox"

Shelly says:

bahahahha

YES

Emily says:

...in the inbox

Shelly says:

YES

I say:

lol

Shelly says:

YES

YES

YES

YES

YES

Emily says:

"I'M OUT OF CHOCOLATE CHIPS"

"Why do you do this to me :("

WHATS WRONG EMILY

"My dad changed the channel during my favourite commercial"

I say:

you guys could make a blog post about this

Shelly says:

YES

GOOD IDEA

I say:

it is!

now I have to come up with some

so that I can get in the post too =P

Emily says:

so far mine are the best.

I say:

hmmm

Emily says:

yes I know i'm the only one

I say:

this might suck, but here goes

Emily says:

who's made any

I say:

"I just wish things between us could be the way they were before =("

WHAT'S WRONG

"my favorite band sucks now >.<"

Emily says:

"I miss you so much"

"What's wrong Emily"

"I ate the last peice of cake"

I say:

bahahahahaha, nice

Shelly says:

hahaha

hm

I say:

"I just can't live like this, it's killing me"

Shelly says:

oh

hm

I say:

OH NOES WHAT HAPPENED

"my brother wrecked our room AGAIN."

Shelly says:

hahaha

I can't think of anything funny enough

or sad enough 

Emily says:

"Why does this have to be so hard"

"WHATS WRONG EMILY"

I say:

lol Emily

TWSS

Shelly says:

bahahaha

Emily says:

"the wall I'm leaning against"

bahaha

Shelly says:

"I can't do this anymore, good bye"

OH NOES

INBOX MEEEE

"I don't get the math problem"

Emily says:

can I just right now say

that I love us

Shelly says:

/grouphug

I say:

lol, you can

Shelly says:

^that should trend

I say:

/hugs

Emily says:

"Why does crap like htis always happen to me"

WHATS WRONG EMILY

"My favourite shirt is in the wash"

I say:

"I'm tired of waiting for you. Enough is enough, I'm done."

OH NOES WHAT'S WRONG

"This game was supposed to come out in APRIL. I mean, COME ON."

Shelly says:

"why do you keep hurting me?"

Shelly says:

INBOX MEEEEEE

"I tied my ponytail too tight"

"why do you have to leave me when I need you the most? :("

INBOX MEEEE

"my poppy fell off"

Does Luke Schenn Suck Lollipops?

So earlier today, we found out that we got a pageview from someone searching "Luke Schenn sucks." We proceeded to rage on skype. (Note: I was eating poutine):

Emily: O
Emily: M
Emily: G
Emily: SOMEONE FOUND OUR BLOG WITH THE SEARCH KEYWORD
Emily: "LUKE SCHENN SUCKS"
Emily: :O
Shelly: WHAT
Shelly: DHSDKDFHDSKFHDKFKDSFJDFHSDKFJDHFDJKFHS
Shelly: HOW DARE THEY
Shelly: I was just about to tell you about my crisis
Shelly: too much gravy, not enough cheese
Shelly: BUT THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE
Emily: also
Emily: "Carl Gunnarssson girlfriend"
Shelly: haha yeah
Shelly: DEAR WHOEVER YOU ARE
Shelly: LUKE SCHENN DOES NOT SUCK
Shelly: HE IS AWESOME AND WILL MAKE YOU PREGNANT
Emily: YEAH
Shelly: UNLESS YOU ARE A HABS FAN
Shelly: BUT ONLY CAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO CREATE ANY MORE OF YOUR KIND
Shelly: ALSO
Shelly: YOU HAVE BEEN SUSPENDED FROM GOOGLE
Shelly: FOR 24 HOURS
Shelly: OR UNTIL YOU REPENT
Shelly: WHICHEVER COMES LATER
Emily: OK
Shelly: BECAUSE ONLY AWESOME PEOPLE CAN USE GOOGLE
Shelly:

Shelly: JUST LOOK AT THAT SMILE
Shelly: HOW CAN YOU SAY HE SUCKS
Shelly: WELL
Shelly: I'M SURE HE SUCKS LOLLIPOPS
Shelly: BUT THAT'S IT
Emily: bahahaha
Emily: YES
Shelly: IN CONCLUSION, RANDOM GOOGLER
Shelly: THANK YOU FOR THE PAGEVIEW
Shelly: BUT
Shelly: YOU SUCK

Hey Leafs

Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out

TWSS.

In Which There is Rage

I am an angry little Leafs fan right now. The Bruins just beat us 7-0 and Seguin (who I call Sequin) had his first career hat trick. If you're sick of the Kessel vs. Seguin debate, this post is not for you. It's mostly just to let me rant.

Okay so by now everyone knows that the Leafs traded two first rounders (and some other stuff that isn't important to this argument) to Boston for Phil Kessel. We've been mocked for it. My question is, why?

At this moment, Phil Kessel is leading the league in goals, points, and he would've led in +/- if it wasn't for this game, which I will never speak of again. He's at 10 goals and 21 points in 14 games. That's a 1.5 ppg pace. Meanwhile, Sequin the Golden Boy has 7 goals and 14 points (after the HT) in 12 games. That's 1.166666(etc) ppg. Yes, it's a small sample size. Let's look at last year, shall we? Sequin had 11 goals and 22 points in 74 games (0.297 ppg). Kessel had 32 goals and 64 points in 82 games (0.780 ppg). Hmm, 0.297 vs. 0.780... one of these numbers is significantly better than the other...

And this is when smart people realise that it's not fair to compare the two, because Sequin's a sophomore and Kessel's in his 6th NHL season. Accurate comparisons will be made after their careers are over. So you can say the Bruins won the trade all you want, but that means you want to compare how both players are doing up to this point in time. And as I demonstrated above, the Leafs are winning in that respect. What's that you say? Sequin's going to be the next Crosby? Sure, he could be. He could turn out to be the best player that ever played in the history of hockey. He could also be an average NHLer for the rest of his career. Or, he could go pointless for the rest of the season and then become a marginal AHLer. Or he could quit hockey tomorrow and become a monk. I hope you realise where I'm going with this.

Oh, but Boston won the Cup last year. Thank you for informing me, I would never have known otherwise. In those 13 playoff games last year, Sequin had 7 points and was largely ineffective besides that one game that everyone went crazy over and I can't be bothered to recall. At this point the haters usually say that Kessel hasn't even been in the playoffs since becoming a Leaf. Again, thank you for pointing that out for me. The Leafs are a crappier team than the Bruins. Surprise, surprise. But we're not comparing the teams here, we're comparing the players. So the Leafs standings compared to the Bruins are meaningless. If anything, it's a testament to Phil's talent that he's racking up that many point with crappy linemates.

When the Leafs made that trade, we didn't expect we'd be giving Boston a 2nd overall pick. We have no way of knowing who won that trade yet. But if you choose to bring it up again, I hope you know that at this point in time, Toronto is winning the trade by a mile.

Hello, Haters

I've lived in Toronto my entire life and out of all the hockey people I've ever met, Leaf haters are the overwhelming majority. These people seem to think they're doing the world favour by informing me that "LOLOLOL THE LAFFS HAVEN'T WON SINCE 1967 LOLZ" as if a) we didn't know that already, and b) that fact had any bearing on anything whatsoever. Sure, it's been a long time. But you never see anyone chanting "NEVAR LOLZ" to Caps/Kings/Blues/Sabres/Nucks/Caps/Jets fans, especially in their home cities.

Why do we have so many haters? It's mostly because we have so many fans. The team has been the butt of jokes around the NHL for years, and hasn't even made the playoffs since the lockout. And yet, we still get prime-time coverage. The media talks about the Leafs more than it talks about any other team. Now, that's understandable for the local media; after all, it's their job to cover local teams (their incompetence at it is another matter altogether). People get angry when they see the national media fawning over the Leafs. What they don't understand is that these media people have a goal. That goal is to earn money. How do they earn money? By talking about (praising or bashing) the most popular and hated team in the english-speaking population. That team is the Leafs.

It's been over 24 consecutive hours of the 9-3-1 Leafs sitting on top of the standings. We know it won't last. We know we don't deserve it. We have the worst PK in the league, for goodness sake. Our goal remains the same: to make the playoffs. We're sorry if we're making fans of the Hawks and Caps and Pens and Nucks uncomfortable by hanging out at the top of the league for a while. We're still rebuilding, but we've been really lucky so far. We know that and we'd like to enjoy winning it while it lasts. You can stop reminding us.

And finally: you know when you click on that article about why the Leafs will never make the playoffs? What about the one about how Brian Burke is stupid? Yeah, you know the ones. Thanks for giving them pageviews. Because that makes them write even more about the Leafs.

So to people in BC: we're sorry you have to hear about Reimer missing practice, especially now that you have your own little goalie controversy going on. To people in Alberta: we're sorry more people don't care that one of your teams sucks and the other is profiting from tanking. Try rebuilding without draft picks, it's way more fun. To people in Manitoba: we know you're still honeymooning with the Thrashers, and it's kind of cute. We won't pick on you yet. To people in Ottawa: we're sorry you suck. You get on a hot streak and are now in a playoff spot, and no one hates you for it. What's up with that? To people in Quebec: I'd rather not have my car burned so I won't say anything. To people everywhere else: shut up. And now, to my fellow Torontonians: we won't apologise for watching our team, for cheering our team or for spending so much money on our team, because then we'd be apologising for being Leafs fans, and we're not doing that.

Now excuse us as we go have a group hug with the rest of our fanbase.  Go Leafs Go.

Where's Reimer?

The big news in Leafs Nation today is that James Reimer was not at practice (the fact that this, rather than  "Leafs Are First" is the big news today shows how much we love our pessimism) and is not likely to start on Saturday.

James Reimer is important to us. He's our most recent Saviour of the Franchise (soon to be overthrown by Ben Scrivens, but we'll give him another game to show us what he's made of. We're not overreacting that quickly). So when he got hit by Brian Gionta, we were mad. When he left the game because of Brian Gionta, we raged. Now that he's missing games because of Brian Gionta, we're ready to call the army on Brian Gionta (insert Toronto snowstorm army joke here).

Since we don't want to listen to the people saying that he has a concussion, we did a bit of brainstorming to come up with some reasons why James Reimer was not at practice.

1) He slept in. How many times have we all done that?
2) He felt bad for Cody Franson's job as the team's coffee-run boy, so he decided to take over.
3) He went to his second job, as an actor for Timmies commercials.

4) He's actually at practice, dressed as Ben Scrivens.
5) He really really really *really* had to use the bathroom.
6) He gave himself a timeout after catching himself thinking the word "crap".
7) He was transforming himself into Optimus to save humanity.
8) He was so busy smiling at people he forgot to practice.

side note: this is how we've been winning games. The opponents are dazzled by his smile and are just forced to give us two points

9) He found a cure for cancer.
10) HE'S DYING OF A CONCUSSION AND IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE!!1

A Beginner's Guide to Being a Female Hockey Fan

Disclaimer: in this post, "fan" is used to describe someone who actually cares about the sport. Puckbunnies can go here

It's no secret this sport is dominated by men. In fact, many people are drawn to hockey for its image, which suggests toothless, violent, bloody, macho manliness. In the midst of testosterone-filled bars, living rooms, and hockey rinks are the few, the proud, the female hockey fans.

It can be hard to be a legitimate hockey fan when you're a girl, it only for how hard it is to be taken seriously at times. So, we here at Ginger Snowflake decided to compile a Beginner's Guide to Being a Female Hockey Fan.

1. "puckbunny"
puck bunny: a young female hockey fan, especially one motivated more by a desire to meet the players than by an interest in hockey. (it's in the dictionary)
This term is usually looked upon as insulting by the self-respecting female hockey fan. Some want it completely removed from our vocabulary, while others (like me) use it to describe actual people we've seen that fit that definition. Either way, don't be one.


2. Team
If you cheer for a team that happens to have a young star(s), you will be accused of being a puckbunny, eg. Pens, Hawks, Oilers, etc. On the other hand, if you refuse to cheer for a team like that, you'll end up a Red Wings fan. Choose wisely. I recommend these guys:

3. Jerseys
Apparently the NHL does sell legitimate women's jerseys. Get these instead of the pink things. However most NHL jerseys still come in men's sizes. They're uncomfortable and look really awkward, but they do the job. Just remember that men's sizes are a lot bigger than women's sizes (*stares at giant Crosby jersey*). Just don't get the pink ones.