Pessimism is a Fun Thing

While watching the Leafs game tonight, Shelly and I got a little mad. The freaking Jets, man.
Here is a transcript of our conversation:
 
Emily: we're losing this game
Shelly: LOSE ALREADY
Shelly: mhm
Emily: all is lost
Shelly: yup
Emily: the season is over
Shelly: the season is gone
Emily: no seriously
Emily: this is it
Emily: we're gonna lose like five in a row
Shelly: and we won't get Nail
Emily: and be so far out of it
Shelly: 8 in a row
Shelly: Kessel's gonna get injured
Emily: more likely 12
Emily: for the season
Shelly: and never score another goal
Shelly: ever
Emily: he'll probably get a concussion
Emily: and retire
Shelly: Komi will become our best D-man
Shelly: not because he deserves it
Shelly: but because everyone else will suck
Shelly: Grabbo will get traded to the Habs
Emily: and we will get the 4th pick
Emily: which will be a bust
Emily: and number five will be a star
Leafs Power Play
Shelly: oh look
Shelly: they're gonna get a SHG now
Emily: then next year
Emily: there'll be a lockout
Shelly: and the year after
Shelly: they'll move the Leafs to Atlanta
Emily: yeah probably
Emily: but by then we'll just be thankful
Shelly: that our misery is over
Shelly: we will die sadly when the Atlanta Thrashers 2.0 lose the SCF to the Habs in 2050
Shelly: in game 7 in OT
Emily: more likely it would be in 2067
Will: will you guys become Pens fans when the Leafs move?
Emily: no
Emily: we'll leave hockey forever
Shelly: probably
Shelly: crap Army's on crutches
Shelly: Army's gonna die
Shelly: of a broken leg
Shelly: Toskala will come back to the NHL
Shelly: and lead the Sens to 10 straight Cups
Emily: starting next year
Emily: and Nail Yakupov
Emily: will be the best player ever
Emily: like actually ever
Emily: and Reimer will let 6.89 goals every game
Shelly: Dion will continue to shoot wide
Shelly: (oh wait..)
Shelly: the PP will be 0 for 10000000
Shelly: PK will be 0%
Shelly: we will lose every faceoff
Shelly: and fan on every shot
Emily: the Leafs fans will finally stop going to games
Emily and the stupid freaking media
Shelly: won't shut up
Shelly: the MSM will never see
Shelly: they will continue to rip us
Shelly: even after we move to Atlanta
Shelly: oh
Shelly: and Harold Ballard will rise from the grave
Shelly: and plot with JFJ
Shelly: to ruin the Marlies too
Emily: oh gosh what a nightmare
Emily: (I like how after all this, the thing that got me was Ballard and JFJ)
Shelly: We're getting Lebda
Shelly: back from Nashville
Emily: what other terrible things can happen?


I, for one, am scared to find out.