Sunday, October 16, 2011

Getting to Know the 2011-2012 Maple Leafs (forwards)

Whether or not you're a Leafs fan, it's always nice to know a little bit about the players under the helmet. This year's Toronto Maple Leafs include some new faces joining old favourites. Let's get to know the forwards, shall we?

#9 Colby Armstrong (Army)  @armdog
My favourite player. He's not exactly a goal-scorer, but one of those depth guys who loves chirping. He's funny and always has something to say. Plus, he's one of Sidney Crosby's best friends, and that can never be a bad thing.

#42 Tyler Bozak (Bozie) @bozie42
Bozie is a beauty! He's also a beast at faceoffs! We're not sure if he's a jerk or not! He also types with way too many exclamation marks! It reminds me of a chipmunk! #bro #beast #beauty #teamunit

#18 Mike Brown (Brownie, Chuck Norris)
Epic stache, which he just shaved to the dismay of Leaf Nation and the entire twitterverse.

#12 Tim Connolly (Canoli) 
He tends to get hurt a lot. Emily doesn't like him. Nickname is canoli because it's easier to spell.

#11 Philippe Dupuis (Douchepuis)
If you think this guy would be a mixture of Phil Kessel and Pascal Dupuis, you're sadly mistaken. He is a jerk.

#39 Matt Frattin (Nickname pending)
If you ever find yourself with a lawnmower on your roof, this is the man to call.

#84 Mikhail Grabovski (Crazy Guy, Habs Killer, Pineapple Murderer, Grabbo)
This guy is crazy (in a good way). He personally hates the Habs, which always gets you brownie points. Abolishes the fear of the pined apple wherever he goes. Fear his crazy eyes.

#43 Nazem Kadri (Naz, The Potential Future Saviour, "Is that the kid you want?") @43_Kadri
Some rumours claim that he has attitude problems, but it's hard not to when you're the best prospect surrounded by the chaotic jungle known as the Toronto MSM. He could lead the team to the Stanley Cup, or he could not. That statement applies to everyone on this list. We also stole him from the Sens

#81 Phil Kessel (Phil the Thrill, Kess, The Other Saviour, Dweeb) @PKessel81
Phil Kessel is Emily's favourite player. He's crazy fast and definitely the most talented goal scorer on the Leafs. On the other hand, he's quite streaky, and he can be frustrating to watch when things just aren't going his way. He's also a socially awkward loner, which somehow makes him more endearing.

#41 Nikolai Kulemin (Kulie, Kool-Aid Man, Fishface)
He's fast, he's good, he's great friends with Grabbo. Has a tendency to leave his mouth wide open.

#15 Matthew Lombardi (Nickname pending)
Recovering from a concussion, so we basically have no idea how his season will play out. We got him for Brett Lebda. lol Nashville.

#19 Joffrey Lupul (Loops) @JLupul
We use his name to change the topic of a conversation. Plays on a line with Phil.

#16 Clarke MacArthur (Mac, MacA, MacArtRoss)
The last third of the MGK line. Despite his innocent face, he missed the first two games of the season due to a suspension. May need to re-calibrate our opinions on him now that he's revealed his inner Matt Cooke.

#28 Colton Orr (Not Bobby, Orrsie)
Despite his last name, he is not a super awesome goal scoring defenceman, much to Don Cherry's displeasure. The nickname Orrsie is ugly and must be changed.

#38 Jay Rosehill (Rosie?)
Basically Colton Orr.

#20 David Steckel (Stecks, Murderer, Loser, That Guy)
Emily thinks he's cute for some reason. I hate him. Specialises in faceoffs and ruining people's record-breaking seasons.

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